We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
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It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
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Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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