Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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