if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
two words: eviction party
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
