I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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