hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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