Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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