so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
