Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
