But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
