I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
