So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
