I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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