So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
