Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
