It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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