I wanna bring you to show and tell
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
