And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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