the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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