There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
