3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
