marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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