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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
