we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
