FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
