I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
