1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Damn victory sex feels great
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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