Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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