Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
