So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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