well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
