I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
