There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
