White coat. Heels.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
