Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
