it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wish there were birth control emojis
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
