420 ftw
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
