id be glad to
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
