His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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