It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
