What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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