You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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