I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
