Got a toothbrush?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
