Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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