There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
