just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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