Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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