then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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