You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
