hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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