I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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