She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize