He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The air taste purple.
Randomize