i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
