no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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