you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
