Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
A bitchslap is in order.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
