i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
