saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
