I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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