the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
