I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
